very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
