I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize