bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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