I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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