I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dignity is for republicans.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
