If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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