i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
