everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
