i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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