chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
