BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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