Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
