I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
