my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
