I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
