Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
