Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
