My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I need moral support for this bender
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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