i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
whose ass print is on the piano?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
