you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize