you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
