I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
