youre lurking in front of me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize