i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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