I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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