id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The air was thick with penises
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Randomize
