No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
