ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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