Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
