last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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