i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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