her vagine was all disorganized.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
