Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
