Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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