whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
