Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
