But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize