he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
