he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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