During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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