i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
