Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
