if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
