We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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