i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
