One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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