I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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