I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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