wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
