The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
