that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
