I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
