roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
