She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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