Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
