Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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