I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
