Im at strip club and am horny
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We need to get me chipped asap
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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