wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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