I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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