Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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